Communication Tips

Our day-to-day communciation with a partner or loved one can have significant influence on our wellbeing. Despite its importance, we can get distracted by other pressures and stop paying attention.  Here are some tips for connecting with your partner.

Notice each other

• How do you greet each other at the end of the day?
• Be curious about your partner’s day. Ask questions and listen
• Use listening body language – give face to face attention, eye contact, nod or use gestures that show interest - and keep listening to what your partner is saying 

Words are not everything

• Spend time alone together regularly. Make time simply to be together
• Make a point of connecting: use simple rituals – anniversaries, a time of the day or week or an activity that only you share – to remind each other of your couple bond. It need not be splashy or expensive. Small and simple is fine
• What activities did you enjoy when you first met? What activities would you like to share now?

Give yourselves space

• Look after yourself too. Respect your need and your partner’s need for time alone and to enjoy separate interests
• Accept your differences. You can’t always agree on everything. You can’t always both ‘win’. But you can look for ways to compromise and for solutions that work for both of you 

Make a move

• Think about ways to express interest in your partner. Make a list of ‘nice things to do for each other’ – and do them regularly. Even a simple back rub after work or a text message to say: ‘I love you’ can make a difference
• Speak up. Don’t wait for your partner to notice things
• Make the first move. Whether it’s saying ‘sorry’, ‘I love you’ or doing something thoughtful, take the initiative rather than wait  

Useful Links

• There are many useful books, DVDs and other resources that provide more comprehensive advice and practical strategies for enhancing your relationship.  Visit the FRSA Resource Directory for some examples.
• Services in your local area, including Family Relationship Centres, family relationship education and skills training services as well as family counselling services may also have resources you can access or borrow.  To find local services visit the FRSA Services Directory.

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