Family Violence

What is Family violence?

Family violence occurs when one person in a relationship deliberately uses threats, force or intimidation to control another. It also includes witnessing violent actions or threats between other family members.

Family violence is different to relationship conflict. In relationships based on safety, respect and accountability, all parties feel safe to disagree and say what they think, a certain amount of conflict is healthy. 

In relationships involving family violence one or more family members feel intimidated, afraid and unsafe. Whatever the circumstance, it is unacceptable for people to feel this way.

Many forms

Family violence can take many forms including physical, sexual and/or psychological damage, forced social isolation, economic deprivation, or behaviour which causes another to live in fear. Some forms less readily understood are:

• verbal, emotional and psychological abuse such as taunts and criticisms that destroy another’s

  For URGENT help  Dial 000 Need to talk? Violence Against Women, Australian Says No  1800 200 526 Domestic Violence Advocacy Service 1800 810 784 Lifeline  13 11 14  lifelinecc@bigpond.com Kids Helpline 1800 55 800  counsellor@kidshelp.com.au Mensline 1300 78 99 78  talkitover@menslineaus.org.au

  Taking Care of Yourself Be aware of trigger factors. Have a safety plan or strategies to get away when things start to get bad.  Tell a trusted person (eg friend, neighbour or relative) of your situation. Call the police Tell your children it is not their fault and they should not intervene to protect you Teach your children how to get help (eg dial 000, go to a neighbour).

  
  self-confidence and independence 
• financial deprivation such as withholding money or creating financial dependence 
• social isolation such as eroding support networks, preventing contact with friends or family
• withdrawal, harm to pets or property, intimidation and fear

Sometimes family members do not recognise the violence because, despite the difficulties, they love the person and just want the behaviour to stop.  But individual incidents can form part of an overall pattern of controlling behaviour even if actual violence is rare.

Who experiences it

In the majority of cases family violence is perpetrated by men with women and children the victims.  But this is not always the case, violence towards any person by a member of their family, a partner or ex-partner is family violence. It occurs in same sex as well as heterosexual relationships.

Women¹

• Younger women are more at risk than older women
• Compared to women with no background of partner violence, women experiencing physical or sexual violence by a partner are more likely to experience emotional abuse
• The rate and severity of family violence experienced by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander, at a population level, is much higher 
• Women with a disability and women with mental health issues are also at greater risk of family violence

Children and young people ²

• On one estimate, more than 38% of violence perpetrated against a mother is witnessed by her children and up to a quarter of young people aged 12-20 years had witnessed parental violence.
• Children who experience or witness family violence often feel fear, anger, depression, despair and distrust as well as a sense of powerlessness. They may also come to believe that violence is a valid way to control a situation or resolve conflict
• Children exposed to family violence can develop behaviours such as bed-wetting, anti-social behaviour, truancy, stealing, drug and substance abuse and interfere with their learning and development

Men

• Estimates vary widely from 1-2% up to 20% of family violence instances involve male victims.
• Men’s description of abuse includes issues of financial dependence on a partner, prevention of access to children, isolating tactics, verbal and emotional abuse as well as incidents of physical assault
• Men who experience family violence often feel shame compounded by the lack of community understanding and services for men

Same sex partners

• In same sex relationships one partner may be vulnerable to threats of ‘outing’ a partner to family or colleagues against their will
• Abuse can also become associated with sexuality and may not be recognised or understood by others
• Greater social isolation due to the relatively smaller numbers in lesbian/gay communities can make it harder to get help and understanding

Research suggests that family violence increases in warmer months and at Christmas. Increased alcohol consumption, more family contact and financial pressures all appear to be factors, combined with access to children and the higher incidence of relationship breakdown that occurs around Christmas time³.

Getting help

If you have experienced violence or feel at risk there are services that can help you.  You can also access help if you know someone who is experiencing family violence or are worried about its impact on children.

¹ Domestic Violence in Rural and Regional Australia: A Literature Review (2000) Prepared by the Women's Services Network  (Wesnet) for the Commonwealth Department of Transport and Regional Services.

² Domestic Violence, Volume 228, Issues in Society (2005) Ed. Justin Healey, Spinney Press. 

³ Braaf, Rochelle and Robyn Gilbert, Domestic Violence Incident Peaks: Seasonal Factors, Calendar Events and Sporting, Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse.